Sunday, October 19, 2008

The end of a season of my life.

Jeff and I had decided that we were done having birth children. He had begun the process of a series of consultations to make the final surgical commitment. I was *willing* to be done, but I still really *wanted* one more baby. Then I began to feel all the signs that told me I was pregnant--insomnia, weepiness, etc. I felt a mixture of emotions: elation, peace, dread, fear. I began to realize I really *was* done with the whole "up all night", "being a whole world to another being for at least 3 years", being in pain and being fat. I truly didn't want to be pregnant--and I truly didn't want to go through another c-section and another 2 years of breastfeeding and sleepless nights. Ten days after my period was due, it began--and I celebrated. I am really ready to close that door now--and concentrate on the beautiful children who are already in my life.

I can now do a mile in 12 1/2 minutes--and I can do a whole push up--and 12 sit ups. I put my *real* wedding ring back on today--and will be able to wear it as I continue to lose my extra weight. (218 this week. Goal weight 150.)

Counting my blessings.


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